~How are you disabled?~

I would like to preface this by saying that I am choosing to disclose this information. No one owes anyone an explanation for their health problems unless it pertains to a situation where that information is vital to their safety.

I was involved in a severe car wreck at nineteen. The aftereffects led to a back surgery at twenty. The bone is rubbing on metal and I’m in constant pain with frequent muscle spasms. I go to a pain management doctor to try to keep the pain at a somewhat tolerable level. This includes quarterly dual lumbar SI Joint Injections (a type of epidural) and other pain management.

I have PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder (uncategorized) with a co-morbidity of Major Depression. It’s difficult for me to be anywhere I don’t feel safe or like I can’t control a situation. It’s difficult for me to leave my house. I can’t have anyone other than my cat in my bed. Stress can easily lead to a nervous breakdown requiring hospitilization.

I have maybe three to ten good days in a month. This changes, always changes. Until I can find the right mixture of meds and ways to cope, as well as a way to manage my anxiety, I won’t be able to have the life I want (aka school and a job).

I do not tolerate ableism.

~Why do you do progress shoots?~

Iimage1-3‘ve lost nearly 60 lbs in the last two years (through tolerable exercise and changing the way I eat) and I’m struggling to love my body. I also want to chronicle the way my body changes, the way my clothes fit, better or worse. Eventually I will have to get surgery to remove the excess skin once I get to my goal weight.

I would like to make it very clear that I’m only showing what works for me. I have a complicated relationship with food and have had one since my General Practitioner told me to only eat 1000 calories a day unless I could work off 800 and, only then, could I eat 1800 calories a day. Due to this I developed anorexia in 2015.

However I did get help, so the weight I lost ended up being while I was in recovery (and still am) and due to lifestyle changes and monitored exercise….as well as rules my doctor made: no counting calories, no excluding all types of one food group, and no weighing unless at a medical professional’s office.

This page will forever be a work in progress. If you have anymore questions please go to the contact page and contact me.